- "I think I may have dropped something down your blouse... let me just... fish it out here... hmmm... I seem to be stuck... well, as long as I'm here, can I buy you a drink?"
- "I can make my uvula dance!"
- "Looks like you've never had sex before. Want to come home with me?"
- "I've never asked out a girl in your weight class before."
- "Hello, I'll be your waiter for this evening. Tonight's special is my--"
- "I think there's a telephone booth outside. Wanna DO IT?!?!"
- "All my ex-girlfriends call me Sir Quickshot."
- "I was watching you bend over from across the room. That's quite a split you got there."
- *frrrrrt* "I'm saving the rest of that one just for you."
- "Can I smell your shoes? Oh yeah..."
- "Poop, poop, poop. That's all humans ever do..."
- "That's a lovely set of ruby earrings. They match your acne quite well."
- "There's a pushable button in my pants."
- "I can dance at up to twenty beats per minute!"
- "Let's see... I have an artificial leg, an artificial arm, an artificial kidney, an artificial testicle, an artificial eyeball, an artificial hairpiece... Hey, where are you going?"
- "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like ALF?"
- "Y'know, breasts are part of the life cycle. Why, if all the breasts in the world disappeared, I'd sure want to die."
- "Care to help me trim the bushes?" *wink*
- "Man, am I gassy. I pop antacids like they're oxygen."
- "Yo, 'sup, 'sup! Wikky-wikky-wikky! I be fly enuf 2 take U home!"
- "Were you BORN female?"
- "I'm very interested in having a threesome with your friend there, but do you think we could do it without you?"
- "Hey, I remember you! I saw you through my telescope last Wednesday... and Thursday... and Friday... and..."
- "Would you like to dance? Everyone will be sure to notice us since I wore my powder blue disco dancing outfit!"
- "Excuse me for a moment; I'm just sizing up your head to see what size of muzzle I might need."
- "You must be sent from Hell 'cause Heaven doesn't smell like tequila and vomit."
- "Sex is like watering the garden: you need a long hose and a big can."
- "I couldn't help but notice your skin flapping from across the room..."
- "I only have one move: THRUST! THRUST! THRUST! THRUST! THRUST! THRUST! Yeah, and I can only do it six times."
- "Listen... I'm very nervous because I've never really had the courage to actually go up to a girl and talk to her. I guess I'm just a shy person overall. I noticed you from across the room; you're very pretty, and I was just wondering if... well... *blushes* I was wondering if your mother's available for the evening..."
