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Top 10 Flavours That Just Didn't Make Baskin-Robbins' Stockpile

I'm sure most of us are familiar with Baskin-Robbins, the famous ice cream parlour chain that boasted 31 flavours. However, have you ever wondered how they arrived at the specific 31 flavours they use? I'll bet you didn't know that there are many more interesting types of ice cream developed that just don't make the cut. I'm here to lift the lid on the mysteries behind the top ten flavour combos that you will never get to lick.

10. Buffalo Ripple

I would have opted for Bison Swirl, but hey, life's an imperfect structure. Contrary to popular suspicion, this flavour does not require that any animals be killed for its production. All that is required is that buffalo sweat be collected in a pail. Harvesters head to the grazing field with moderately-sized squeegee units and gently scrub each buffalo and then release the absorbed sweat into the pail. The sweat is then transported to the manufacturing plant where it is added to an otherwise solo vanilla batch of ice cream. This idea was later abandoned because, well, it's gross.

9. Grapefruit Sour Cream Crunch

I don't believe that the 'crunch' aspect was originally intentional. This unusual combination arose from the distinctive tastes of one Mr. James K. LeRuna of Akron, Ohio. Disliking the sour flavour of the grapefruit that was placed in front of him daily for breakfast by his health-conscious life partner, he opted to coat it with sour cream, a known product which contains a high level of fat. Unbeknownst to him at the time, it would soon prove to be a delightful flavour combination for his tastebuds. Feeling that he may have stumbled upon the 'piquancy in the rough', he presented this new flavour to executives at Baskin-Robbins. Luckily, the executives were not idiots and quickly dismissed this idea as "foolish trite that makes us want to vomit profusely upon a blue-collar worker".

8. Emu Creamu

Conceived by an Australian game wrangler in 1978, Emu Creamu was toted as 'the ice cream for hunters who were too lazy to hunt, but still wanted that genuine emu taste'. Besides the obvious backlash from animal activist groups for the use of emus in the manufacturing process of ice cream, it was also heavily criticized soon after its release in the San Francisco test market after an elderly woman began choking on a feather after only two licks. Though it was never officially proven that the feather was from the ice cream or from her woman's designer pheasant chapeau, Baskin-Robbins quickly pulled the flavour from its stores. This case set the precedent for the Wendy's "finger-in-the-chili hoax" case of 2005.

7. Boron Delight

This almost made it as the official 32nd flavour, but some chemical activists seemed to take offense to the specific allotropes that the manufacturer was using in the ice cream recipe. Baskin-Robbins was uncompromising on this issue, and thus scrapped the plans for this flavour instead of giving in to the protesters' demands. At least the melting point is well over 2000°C, which allows for non-refrigerated transport.

6. Cucumber Lard Concoction

Another accidental discovery, this amalgamation of pre-pickle content and ungulate fat was the result of a freak accident involving neighbouring swine and vegetable farms. It is rumoured that a mother sow found a leaking lighter cached within a patch of grass. Upon further exploration, the lighter sparked and both the grass patch and the sow caught fire. The frightened pig burst through its wooden pen fencing and into the neighbouring cucumber patch, where many of the cucumbers also burst into flame. A nearby farmer quickly doused the flames on the sow and then on the other locations. The sow was treated for superficial second-degree burns, but recovered well in the following weeks. The burnt cucumbers did not recover, but the farmers quickly caught on to the delicious mixed scent of burnt pork and cucumber in the air after the incident. One farmer placed a phone call to the Baskin-Robbins corporation about the possible new flavour combination, but was rejected because the corporation "doesn't accept ideas from farmers". A discrimination lawsuit won the farmer $1.5 million USD, but the ice cream never made it to full fruition.

5. Pralines & Decaying Corpse Flesh

Originally intended as a limited October offering, testing sessions proved that 86% of subjects actually enjoyed the taste of decaying corpse meat when served as a member of a frozen dessert. However, acquisition of an adequate supply of relatively fresh corpses proved to be more challenging than originally anticipated; graveyard keepers would often chase after corpse securement staff with rusty sharp pitchforks while doling out unnecessary expletives. After examining the psychologist's fees after initial cases of post-graveyard chase trauma were reported to the company's insurance program, it was unanimously decided that this ice cream was too costly for further production.

4. Twig-in-a-Cone

It's exactly what it sounds like. Baskin-Robbins did not accept this because it's not ice cream. It's a twig... in a cone. But it was a waffle cone! How could it fail?

3. Sorbet Élastique

Can you taste the polyvinyl chloride extract? Shortly after the first test subjects were given this new flavour of ice cream, they began clutching their stomachs with a pained look in their eyes. Subsequent thorough medical examinations indicated that many of the organs in the test subjects had scrunched themselves into a tight spherical formation, including the liver, colon, and even the ilium of the pelvis showed some retraction. The formula of the recipe was tweaked slightly, the result being what we now know as the "Cherries Jubilee" flavour.

2. Heavenly Hematocrit Hash

Perhaps a bit of a misnomer, as this does not actually contain the required proportion of red blood cells in the overall ice cream mixture to qualify it for such as "heavenly" status. Nevertheless, this doomed flavour tasted just like human blood, with just a hint of terragon. Consumers were outraged at the use of terragon in an ice cream; the recipe has since been incinerated.

1. Spark Surprise

You probably won't believe me when I describe this, but scientists at the Baskin-Robbins laboratory had actually perfected an ice cream that gave off sparks when licked. Deemed an unfathomable victory by the creators themselves, it received much public backlash by parents, political figures, and elephant maintainers who feared that this new electrice cream could cause tongue and cones to burst into flame. Reduced voltage was suggested by the creative team, but the public would not agree to such a compromise. The project was scrapped; many of the original scientists resigned from the company and commenced a new project, known only as "Operation: Lean Cuisine", in 1981.