Top 10 Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes Just the other day, I had Chinese food for dinner, and with it came a delectable-looking fortune cookie. Yet the fortune inside didn't tell me a darn thing I didn't already know. Wouldn't it be more amusing to find an absolutely awful fortune inside? So I have compiled a list of what I consider to be possibly the Top 10 worst fortunes you could find. Who knows -- it could be in YOUR next cookie! 10. The old man at the bar is winking at you. 9. Financial fortune will smile upon your ex-wife. 8. You will bust a move, then promptly bust a pelvis. 7. The O.C. is not coming back. Get over it! 6. Self-reflection is best done in front of a mirror. 5. All your fortune are belong to us! 4. The chicken balls is PEOPLE!! 3. You will get your genitals caught in a bagel. 2. Michael Jackson is your biological mother. 1. Seven sweatshop children died in the making of this fortune cookie. Fortune cookie image attained from this site! (How I got there is anyone's guess.)