Top 10 Uses For Nintendo Dust Sleeves The NES was a great gaming console, but nowadays, those systems seem to be failing us, and not even the most powerful gust of lung air in the world can save us from the eventual fate of gaming -- the fully-functioning NES population will soon become extinct. That can only mean one thing: there will be a TON of unnecessary Nintendo dust sleeves floating around out there. However, there are ways to put these plastic protectors to good use! So here are the Top 10 Uses for Nintendo Dust Sleeves! 10. The Whole Grain Advantage I don't know how often it happens to me, but on an almost daily basis, it seems, I just have a random hankering for a slice of delicious bread. So what better way to carry one around than by dropping a slice of bread into a Nintendo dust sleeve, pocketing it inside your coat, and then removing it when that craving arrives? It's so simple, AND it will keep your bread dust-free in the process. Well, the part that's covered at least. Plus, you have a place to hide the crusts in case you have a desire to feel pigeons later. 9. The Drum Set Although it's difficult (but not impossible) to get a rich hi-hat sound from a dust sleeve, you can still forge a decent set of percussion instruments out of these plastic boons. As we all know, drums are expensive; therefore, the use of dust sleeves is much more forgiving to your budget. Too cheap for drumsticks too? Cut the bottom flaps off of a couple of dust sleeves and you're ready to rock the nation! 8. The Rural Touch Granted, the Nintendo dust sleeve may not impress the average urban layperson. However, take a trip in your Jetta to the rural areas -- the vast countryside where the bovine community stares at you with bitter contempt. Show the agronomic community what they've been missing electronically. Of course, some pastoral families DO have a Nintendo Entertainment System, and may get upset or toss a pitchfolk at you for thinking they are mere country bumpkins. Approach this use of the dust sleeve with caution. 7. The Crappiest Situation If you're a strong environmentalist, you may feel guilty about dropping your pantaloons and laying something less than stellar upon the backside of an evergreen. That's why you can leave your goodies in a (hopefully) biodegradable Nintendo dust sleeve instead! Then just lock up the foul remains in a Ziploc bag and save it for an environmentally sound trash receptacle for later! Problem solved! (Or if you're cruel, gross out a family of unsuspecting campers at 3 o'clock in the morning.) 6. The Boing Effect Nintendo dust sleeves are pretty springy, so if you were to stack between 700 and 900 of them into a nifty pile, then you could probably make a wicked trampoline for Saturday afternoon jumping. It's a great way to pass the time and get some well-deserved exercise, because chances are, if you have 900 dust sleeves, you have a TON of games and have been getting fat on the couch while trying to figure out how the hell anyone can beat Contra Force. Jump around, boy. 5. The Enamel Solution Don't want to spend your precious hourly wages on a bite guard? You're in luck; you can simply chomp those pearly whites down on a dust sleeve during the night to get the same effect to avoid that nasty bruxism! The plastic is relatively strong, so any fears of accidentally gnawing through the sleeve through the night can be put to rest (as can you while you sleep). Flavoured dust sleeves are certainly a good idea too... get on that, Nintendo R&D! 4. The Fight Against Evil Clearly the various military strategists of the world have yet to harness a power more effective than all the soldiers of the world combined: the Nintendo dust sleeve! I won't get into the explicit details of the situation, but suffice it to say, the dust sleeve is a perfect aid to a counter-terrorism coup d'état. Equipping your armed forced with one Nintendo dust sleeve each will be more effective than months of training; keeping one safely stored in your tanks will prevent any damage to your precious war vehicle; and the sleeve can even bring peace between brutal rulers pining for power. That's just how it works, okay? Shut up. 3. The Sexiest Lobes In Town Nothing attracts the underground nerd clan from the mecca of X-buttons and Sunny Delight like a hot girl wearing dust sleeve earrings walking down the avenue. Not only will it bring about feelings of nostalgia for the esteem-craving fellows, but it will keep their minds on more important aspects of life: love, beauty, emotion, and the realization that breathing the same cheese-doodle-infected air for days can prove to be hazardous to one's health. C'mon, girls, show off those cute lobes with black plastic! 2. The Hallowe'en Anomaly Unfortunately, when it comes to trick-or-treating, there are too many generic costumes out there. There are thousands upon utter thousands of kids dressed up as fairies, witches, and friggin' Spongebob Squarepants characters. Why not have your child stand out amongst the bland masses? Tape a whole bunch of Nintendo dust sleeves to your child's clothing -- they can go trick-or-treating as the Super Happy Magic Dust Sleeve Tree! Neato! 1. The Love Below It's a fact: not everyone will find their soulmate, their true love, the one person on earth who they are meant to connect with. If you feel that your search for love is failing you, then why not take the easy way out? Become a hermit, and then marry a dust sleeve. You can put a veil on it, perhaps make it pretty with some sparkly lipstick and some coral eyeshadow, and then... well, I leave the rest of your life up to you. Let's not discuss the honeymoon. Dust sleeve image attained from The Nintendo Repair Shop Inc.!