Top 10 Country Songs That Are Bound To Hit #1 Country music is such a booming industry nowadays, so much so that it feels like everyone under the sun can get their hands on a recording contract. This is a list of the Top 10 future hits to be looking for that will definitely top the charts! These songs may not be out yet, but check your local record shops for these beauties! And when they DO hit #1, just remember where you got your information first! 10. "I Broke Your Dog With My '72 Pickup" by Hick Diddler A light is shed upon an unfortunate battle between the life of a smellhound and the travel route of a muddy 4x4. When interviewed about this particular moment and how it affected his personal life, Mr. Diddler was quoted as responding: "I was very disappernted by what happened; I had ta git a new tire, and they ain't cheap, dang-blast-it!" So much for pro-life. 9. "Feelin' Blue Just Like My Big Toe" by Jethro Hucklebuckle Jethro Hucklebuckle is a famous man in his hometown of Cactus Corners. He is known best not only for his recent charity work at the Cactus Corners Orphanage, but he was also the only man in town willing to smash his big toe for a reasonably large sum and free grits at The Golden Spitoon Family Restaurant & Lasso Repair Centre. Of course, his wife left him for the town drunk after hearing of this incident. As such, his sadness is revealed in this downtempo song. 8. "Our Toilet's Out Back" by Yodelin' Merle Considering how popular the art of 'retro' seems to be this decade, outhouses are becoming more and more fashionable to own as a domicile accessory. Now you can point to the backyard and tell people you have the year's hottest model! Yodelin' Merle, known by close family and friends as Merilägfläu-Jupitäer Onuäsnoäghgäaräd, is cashing in on the outdoor fad by writing a song specifically dedicated to the primitive toilet style. The song vividly outlines today's youth's appreciation of the modern outhouse's snazzy wood finish and refuse hole contours. 7. "Donkey Ate My Best Banjo" by Starla Flaghugger The song's title speaks volumes. After Ms. Flaghugger's prime donkey, Furley (named after the beloved television landlord of the same name), accidentally devoured an entire banjo, followed by an extended vacation to the local veterinary facility, Starla assumed that her music career (which had spanned over two weeks in length) had come to a close, but nothing could be further from the truth! In this purely accapella recording, Starla finds true emotion in this musical eulogy to her lost banjo, which she was set to marry the month following its tragic demise. 6. "Mama Ate All The Corn, Papa Done Snagged The Plunger" by Zeke Umbilico It was discovered that, in Arkansas, the contents of an entire field of corn had disappeared practically overnight. Laying in the middle of the property was Mr. Umbilico's wife, somewhat larger than when he had left her the night before to sample imported moonshine at the local saloon. Upon waking her up with the jab of a pointy stick to the abdomen, she immediately had to run to the outhouse and... well, you can probably guess. Zeke Umbilico wrote this song after he had to unclog the outhouse toilet, a feat that was both sweaty and malodorous. It is predicted to become a #1 hit within a matter of months, so keep your eye on the chart, and your rear to the porcelain bowl! 5. "There Ain't No Bathin' 'til April" by Dirk Lafayette Critics could immediately smell a hit when Dirk Lafayette recently entered the charts with this upbeat honky-tonk number. Proud of the bounty of the dirt beneath his feet and his fingernails, Dirk has come to solidify not only the Southern approach to water conservation, but also the human preference to have fun than to take responsibility for one's own personal hygiene with pesky daily tasks such as bathing. "I hate takin' baths, I do," the 98-year-old veteran of the Great Sarsaparilla Brawl of 1932 was quoted as saying. "B'sides, all my grunge gets hidden in all my wrinkles! Wanna take a look, sonny?" Breathtaking. 4. "Hey, The Dang House Is Rolling Down the Interstate" by The Georgia Constantly Unemployed Jug Band Brakes play a more prominent role in our lives than one might initially assume. Brakes also played a vital role in the life of the bassist of The Georgia Constantly Unemployed Jug Band, Hank Wurstfurg. During the summer of 2005, his mobile home was jarringly derailed from the trailer park and had rolled onto the interstate, carrying his wife, his two children, and half a package of tasty frozen waffles across the state line. Instead of feeling remorse for being unable to care for his waffle stash as a proper man should, he decided to croon a sweet tune about his experiences with renegade trailers, the result being a future #1 hit across the land! 3. "My Sister's My Mama And My Daddy" by Icabod, the Man in the Mule Costume Genetics played a cruel trick on the man known only as Icabod, he who always tends to sport an ugly gray mule costume, tearing at the seams and proving that he should really wear pants under there. And he doesn't just wear this costume when on stage -- it's pretty much a 24/7 affair. Very little is known about Icabod, except that he must have adequate savvy to win over studio executives who, for whatever reason, see potential in a human in a mule costume: a humule, if you will. How his mother and father and sister are the same person will all become clear after the promotional discs are handed out to country disc-jockeys for airplay in the coming months. 2. "Y'awl Smell That? (The Manure Shovelers' Anthem)" by Big Lumpy and One-Eye Slickeroo Following a brief funeral service after an 18-wheeler carrying a ton of manure toppled over a fence after running over a discarded brassiere, killing a manure shoveling specialist and the truck driver in a brutal fire (which caused a stink not only with the townsfolk but also with the entire town, causing a rush to the corner stores for air fresheners), Big Lumpy (known by his family as Medium Lumpy) retained the idea for this song as a tribute to the manure shoveler who lost his life to senseless transportation technology and to all manure shovelers who will eventually pass away due to transport trucks or skunk attacks to the face. 1. "My Baby's Daddy Is A Rake" by Shayna-Jo Furky Considered by a few as one of the most controversial country singles to be released in the history of the genre, this song describes in great detail the passionate romance between a woman and a farming tool, as well as the scarring aftermath (literally, with imagery of parallel wounds upon the skin). The actual fertilization process is not particularly clear, but is possibly masked by lyrics such as "My rakes 'kin love / when given a shove". Ms. Furky declined to comment when asked if the song was based on personal experience, offering only these words of advice for the women of the future: "Don't be mistreatin' your hoe." Country hat image attained from Hatsinthebelfry.com!