There are just some things that I don't quite understand, and one of those recent things is my unnatural interest in this MSN Messenger program. You've probably heard of it; heck, you're probably using it right now. Way to go, Microsoft -- you've penetrated the gentle orifice of the social life of humankind with your happy chattery barn. And its functions are expanding with each subsequent release. You can now handwrite (to a certain extent) your messages or draw pictures of dogs urinating on rainbow-coloured hydrants; you can see some dude from Poland's webcam as he licks his girlfriend playfully; you can tell someone that they're an ass by text or by your own angry voice, should a working microphone be within reach. Yes, you can do it all. With MSN Messenger, you are in contact with the world! So... is this good? Is this kosher? Is it fly? Well, it certainly draws my attention away from learning during my various classes. That would be fine (and my fault), except I don't actually bring a laptop to class. No, instead, I spend much of my time gawking at other people's conversations. Is it rude? Yeah, but I don't really care. I'm too busy being mentally aroused and provoked by the atrocious spelling people use online. "how r u?" "im fine and u?" "good" How riveting. You know, you're not friggin' monkey-students, people: spell out words completely. Apparently, you have the time to spell out words. Wait -- you DON'T! You're supposed to be paying attention and being bored out of your skull like the rest of us academic drones. And you're also disrupting my learning process with your infernal conversationalism. Of course, even back at the ol' ranchero here, I'm still very much actively utilizing this freak application of computer nature. I have a list of 82 contacts, and I doubt I talk to more than 10 of them. The rest just take up space and make me feel important, like I'm a central unit of a strong social network. But really, I'm just too damn lazy to remove the filler. And when I'm connected to the 'net, it seems that MSN Messenger is among the first things I connect to. Forget checking my e-mail; that comes second. MSN is the place to be, apparently. It's great for a little while, but then an hour or two goes by, and I realize that I haven't been productive in the slightest. I should have worked on that upcoming essay. I should have done that reading for tomorrow's class. I should have built a birdhouse. Whatever, that time is now gone. The use of MSN is actually contrary to my nature. I'm a solitudinous character; social situations often make me edgy, and I want to hide out in the corner and scowl, exercising my facial musculinity. So I suppose it's the anonymity of MSN Messenger that would allow the shy guy (me) to active roam the social plains in search of friendship, happiness, and good lovin'. Erm...perhaps not. Interestingly enough, there are people I know in real life who see me in one light off the keyboard, but in a completely different fashion behind the veil of the internet. Why is this? I really can't say; I guess when I'm alone, I'm in this maximum comfort zone, and nothing can bring me down from my own private pedestal! So I'll say what I want! If you're an ass, I'll call you so! MSN is my addictive outlet for spewing forth all the precious mind nuggets that I wouldn't be too comfortable saying to a person's face. Is the time-consuming productivity-devouring MSN Messenger worth having around? ...eh, sure, why the hell not? Human conversation never hurt anybody. "But wait, He of the Rant, you're only interacting with your computer!" Well, you see... *stabs and runs*