Independence is dead. I may have killed it myself.

I've always secretly boasted a slight bit of contempt towards those couples who just love each other so much that they feel they have to share it with everyone and everything that exists in this world. I see them walking down the street, holding hands, smiling, laughing, donating free kisses to each other... and my eyes become shifty, hoping in desperation that they'll stop doing what they're doing, or have one of them spontaneously trip and fall into the mantle of the earth as the ground quivers and crackles beneath their sneakers, only to please the melancholy single travellers as they make their way through their days unconsciously knowing that they are not being loved the way they desire.

But I'm an admitted hypocrite; secretly, that's what I want. That's probably the root of my discontent -- they have what I want! I am jealous of their relationship success, and embarrassed by my own extensive failure in that department. Heck, I'm not even in that STORE. I may not want EXACTLY what they have (for they may be sadomasochists and enjoy whipping each other and slashing nippular regions in their spare time -- which wouldn't be fun, at least not for an extended period of time), but the general idea remains the same. Y'know, we're always searching, seeking out that special person that will influence our lives so majestically and with such positive affinity that we deem them our "soulmates", our "kindred spirits", and the like. That's a goal in life for most, and perhaps has a correlation with the meaning of life. Perhaps not, I don't know. But it's certainly an aspect of life that's unique.

I also wonder if perhaps the search (and the [hopefully] subsequent catch) are distortion united. You think you want them. You think you need them. You think about them all the time, showering your mindframe with a reasonably jubilant euphoria. You never want to let go of that warm feeling you get when you are around them. They consume you; you become one with them. Is this healthy? Well, a wise woman once told me about the healthiest relationship, which I have illustrated the same way it was illustrated for me:

So what is my conclusion? Well, I'll tell you this: I don't have a conclusion at all. Relationships are among the most bizarre occurrences known to humanity. There is no specific set of rules, although I'm pretty sure I can rule out some extremist activities as rubbing a little too roughly against the grain -- no stabbing someone in the eyes on the first date, for example. (Second date? Hmmm... bet they didn't see that one coming, literally.) But if I've learned one thing from experience, it's this: no relationship prepares you for the next one. Every day is hit-and-miss, whether you've been on the scene for decades or mere minutes. Just go in stride, and if she asks you if she looks fat in her new jeans, don a helmet and say whatever you want.