// Part XI: This Would Tick Anyone Off \\ Great One: I truly doubt that you will be able to rescue the President now and be this 'bad dude' of fabled lore. Soy: Well...uh...is that REALLY the President's organs on the floor? Great One: Yes. Soy: And not a clone? Great One: It's the real President. Soy: And he's truly deceased. Great One: Dead as a doornail. Soy: Is there ANY way I can bring him back to life, fully recovered? Great One: No. Soy: You don't have a rejuvenation chamber of some sort that I can toss the organs into? Great One: Do you see one? Soy: Yes. Great One: Whaa---No, you don't! You're blind! Soy: You don't have a cloning machine of sorts? Great One: What would I clone? Sheep? Ha! Soy: So I have failed. Great One: Yes, and maybe I ought to boil you so this doesn't reach the media. Soy: The President's dead... *sob* Great One: Yes. He was a good man, but declaring war on pornography just melted my nuggets! I'm glad he's dead; now nudity is my bitch. Soy: I guess I'll have to make an announcement to the American public about this... Great One: That might be nice. Er...wait...American public? Wouldn't you rather tell the Bolivian public first? Soy: Now why would I do that? Great One: I think they'd want to know that their President is dead. Soy: Oh dammit! You killed the BOLIVIAN President?! Not the AMERICAN President?! Great One: American President? Oh, I guess you wanted the next steakhouse over back at the surface... *cell phone rings* Officer Reggie: Oops... my bad. I blame our intelligence reports. Anyway, go back to the surface, enter the steakhouse to the west of the one you entered, and then go through THOSE underground chambers, and you'll find the AMERICAN President. Soy: You goon! Well...I get three of your wives for this. *sets off for the real steakhouse* [~to be continued~] « PREVIOUS || NEXT »