// Episode IX: Totally Whack! \\ Soy: There's no way I'm marrying you! You sprung this on me so suddenly! Plus I don't smell beauty on you, only the scent of a salty tourtière! Lima: Do you think that after our little encounter in high school that I would just forget about you? All these years, I've been waiting for a chance to get back together with my beloved Soy! And luck has left me a juicy lemon -- you've come for me! I must be truly blessed! Soy: This story sure has taken a turn for the unusual. Lima: Oh, Soy, we could have be so happy together! You and me, married, living as one in our cute little bungalow home. Soy: Hmmm... Well, a bungalow WOULD prevent me from not seeing stairs. ...Get it? Seeing stairs? Wah hah hah! *sigh* But still, I couldn't possibly-- Lima: --and oh, what beautiful children we could spawn from our ugly sacred genitals! I figure we could have six kids -- three boys, and three girls. There's Limanadia... Soy: Uh... Lima: ...Soyocles, Lima-Marie... Soy: Er... Lima: ...Soymond, Limbert... Soy: I can't wait to hear the last one. Lima: And the last daughter, Soynderella! *blushes* Soy: *vomits* Lima: Clean that up, use some mouthwash, then kiss me, you sightless adonis! Soy: NOOOOOOOO-- Lima: But... Soy: --OOOOOOOO-- Lima: Wha-- Soy: --OOOOOOOOO!! This shouldn't be! Lima: But our destinies are intertwined! We both share the names of beans with disabilities! Soy: You only picked that name because you liked my name, and couldn't stand your own. Lima: Would YOU want to be called 'Beverley'? It sounds like I should be locked away in a retirement home, knitting afghans and dreaming about Conway Twitty to pass the time before the inevitable. Soy: I wouldn't want to be called 'Beverley'. But then again, my real name is not so hot either. Lima: Oh yeah, I remember your name! It's-- Soy: --Yeah, yeah, we both know what it is. In any case, I still won't marry you! Lima: If you won't marry me willingly, I shall have to force you to do so! Soy: Ummm... uhh... well, I didn't want to resort to this, but... *Soy sprays Lima with his can of Anti-Girl Spray* Lima: Augggggh! Mein eyes! *falls on the ground, rubbing her eyes incessantly* Soy: Are you going to stop being a total nutjob and make everything right, including the release of me back into the wildness so that I may breed with the commonfolk and commonelk? Lima: Never! We are meant to be together!! Soy: Very well. It's a good thing I always keep a frying pan in my pants. *Soy whacks Lima unconscious with the frying pan, leaving a nasty welt on her forehead* Soy: I feel like such a violent bastard today. I guess it's time to point this ship back to shore and to put Utah back! Another successful investigation performed by the great Bli-- *Soy is knocked unconscious by the same frying pan; he awakens later in the dark* Soy: ...whaaa? Wh-whodunnit? ???: We meet again, Soy... Soy: Wait... I know that musty scent! *GASP!* ...It couldn't be! [ ...to be continued... ] « PREVIOUS || NEXT »