Reggie: I will shoot you now!
Soy: You have a gun? I didn't see that!
Reggie: Likely because you are blind.
*As Reggie is about to shoot, he is hit over the head with a large slab of liver*
Soy: Hey, where's the bang? Where's the pain? Where's my extended death scene? I had a speech prepared!
Nurse Megsy: Did I come in the nick of time?
Soy: Damn! Can I still give my speech?
Nurse Megsy: Please don't...
Soy: Ohhh... *hack* *cough* Sweet mama... Tell 'er I love her so... *cough* *wheeze*
Nurse Megsy: Stop that! You're never going to win an Emmy, you know!
Soy: Very well. I didn't expect you here, Nurse Megsy!
Lima: *groggily* Nor did I!
Nurse Megsy: Ack! Deaf Girl Lima!
Lima: How do you know my name?
Nurse Megsy: It's written on your underwear.
Lima: You were reading my underwear?
*Nurse Megsy holds up Lima's underwear*
Lima: What an amazing trick!
Nurse Megsy: And while Soy and Reggie were chatting it up, I piloted this sucker back to the United States. Oh, you're going down, you nasty gal!
Soy: I'm quite amazed at how many characters have shown up in this very out-of-the-way place. So amazed, I'm not even going to ask how Nurse Megsy arrived on board after falling into the ocean, because that would likely blow my mind so much, my brains would leak out the ear and anus.
Lima: Curse the both of you, as well as your oily hides! Well, Nurse Megsy moreso, I guess!
Soy: It's the end of the line for you, Deaf Girl Lima. Our marriage shall never be!
Lima: Blast! I won't go out without a fight! Put up your dukes, you crazy nurse!
Nurse Megsy: Oh, it's on, girl!
*A catfight ensues.*
Soy: I wish I could see this. I REALLY wish I could see this. Alright, what's next...
*Soy feels around for the console controls, finding them... eventually*
Soy: I guess it's up to me to land this thing. Officer Leroy, are you still there?
Officer Leroy: You had me on hold for twenty-seven hours, man! I haven't slept in days! I need to take a dump!
Soy: Drop your crescent later; guide me now! Where do I put the state of Utah?
Officer Leroy: You found it? Nice job for a guy who can't drive a golf cart. Okay, you're going to have to take the state west.
Soy: West? Dagnabbit, the one direction I don't know very well!
Officer Leroy: Um...turn left then!
Soy: I know that one!
*Soy turns left and, following the precise directions of Officer Leroy via his wireless headset, guides the state of Utah down safely... well, okay, he accidentally drops it on Texas, but that's alright*
Leroy: You dope.
Soy: No! Winners don't do drugs!
Leroy: The police and the national guard have surrounded your craft, and everything will be fine. Good work, Soy!
Soy: I've saved the state of Utah! But... what's going to happen to Deaf Girl Lima? *snif*
[ ...to be continued... ]
